Here’s all the diagnoses that I’ve been branded labeled with : social anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, some post traumatic stress, trichotrillomania, and a moderate to severe fear of abandonment. I guess you could say I’m a bundle of nerves, a real live wire. I can handle my problems, most of the time, but sometimes the pressure to manage the outer turmoil of real life just makes me go, “AHHHHHHHHH!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!! (Except you, Officer Todd*. You can “arrest” me anytime you want…ooops did I say that out loud?)

The social anxiety disorder and agoraphobia is a winning combo, by the way. I hate having a double whammy like that. The panic attacks and general neurotic behavior make me….unpleasant to be around or to deal with.

Oh yeah, I also tend to regress whenever I’m around my parents for any length of time. I turn into a child eager to please and afraid to be left alone. ESPECIALLY WITH MY STEP MOTHER. I know why I regress and I feel it’s not a very good excuse. (If you really want to know, go read the About page located at the top of this site. I’m sure you can figure it out. I have faith in you.)

Thing is, whenever I DO try to assert myself as an adult,** my mother usually ends up ticked and we start an all out feud that would make any brawling family on the Jerry Springer show proud of us. It’s easier to use these strategies: A) Go along with what she’s saying and keep my opinions to myself. B) Avoid visiting with my parents. Because of the high price of gas, B has been my option. It was a strategy that worked well–until today.

Yeah, my parents are coming down today. My mom is going to sleep over at her brother’s place and dad is coming over to MY house. (My step aunt is highly allergic to smoke, therefore Dad has to stay with me.) Yippee.

(FYI, If I don’t post this weekend, it’s because I’m busy hiding from entertaining my parental units.)

I love my parents, don’t get me wrong, and I try to be a good daughter in the ways I can be. But we do not have many interests in common. Anyway, I hope I survive the weekend, and if I can sneak on and update, I will.

* Name changed to protect the handsome and manly. He doesn’t read this blog, but Saunya knows who I’m talking about.

**Usually because she wants me to go to church and I refuse to go and make a hypocrite out of myself. Believe me, NO one will get me to do what I really don’t want to do–not even my folks. Plus, I don’t like being stuck in the middle of a crowd. She doesn’t get (or chooses not to understand) the definition of social phobia.