I hesitate to write about this because it is rather embarrassing and involves a really mean old teacher who should have never entered the profession.

He was my fifth grade teacher, who often grumbled and yelled at the worse students. (Of which I was one.) He often put the three worse homework assignments on the board for everyone to see. And yes, my work usually had “pride of place” on the chalkboard.

I didn’t care. Even having him tell me to my face that I did not do good failed to get me to care more. Forbidding me to not read in class didn’t do the trick either. I’m not (and never have been) the kind of person to force into anything. Either I’ll do it or I won’t. Note to other people: Generally, if you ask nice, I will do it. Give me attitude, and I never will. Without good reason, that is.

I think he was an old school teacher; shame a kid and that should be motivation for the kid to perform better. As I mentioned, it’s hard for me to care about doing well for people I do not like. So that sort of old theory doesn’t work on me. Did I ever mention that I’m a particularily strong-willed person? You know now, and knowing is half the battle.

Damn that G.I Joes cartoon….that motto has been permanently emblazoned on my tender gray matter.

I digress.

One day, I had to go to the bathroom. I really had to go. I asked three times, politely. He said that I could go during recess. Looking back, I think I should have just gone anyway, but I didn’t want to risk the board of education being brought out. (Yes, I went to school back in the day where that was permissible. I was sent to the principal’s office at least once a week. And yes, I had behavioral problems.)

I couldn’t hold it and I lost it all over the floor. Of course, he let me sit in it until recess. Then it was taken care of by me on my hands and knees.

My parents were mad at the teacher, as they should have been, and I don’t know what they said, but he never yelled at me after that. No “bad” homework was put up on chalkboard, and the next year….he retired.