Oregon is sure in a lot of financial trouble.   We have twelve percent of our population out of work—percentage wise, we are the Numero Uno in the country in terms of unemployment   We are extremely in the red–four billion dollars!–and hunger is rampant here.  And by hunger, I don’t mean absolute starvation; I’m talking about nutrition deficiency.

Coming from a household that relies partially on hand-outs from unemployment, (the roommate only works 2ish days a week and the state will help compensate her for the rest of the week), I can tell you it’s hard. Hard.

Spaghetti sauce (the cheap can kind) dumped unceremoniously in rice have made up our meals. I call it What a Rice Surprise—I tend to put in whatever I have to supplement it and give it some dietary value. Nuked potatoes and steamed veggies are another household favorite.  I am so missing the taste of meat.  My gentle reader(s) would probably be shocked to find out just how bare our cupboards are.

So yeah, that’s why I haven’t been blogging as often as I’d like. Economically, the situation has been seriously depressed, which can turn to creative malaise….

I’m actually thinking about downsizing my cable/internet/phone services. Good ol’ Comcast is jacking up the prices again, and I need food more than the LOGO or Bravo stations.  I have also thought about selling my Bowen Statues….but that would KILL me.  Especially since I’d have to sell them for less than I bought them for.  (I have the full size statues of Storm, Gambit and Dark Phoenix.  Busts? Rogue, Sabertooth, Mystique, Psylocke, Angel, Nightcrawler a Sentinel, and Storm.) 

No. I won’t be getting rid of them. Not my “babies”.

I think I’ll start doing more comparison shopping and clipping out more coupons.   Maybe I’ll start monitoring the electricity usage closely and being more frugal–NOT miserly—with our resources.  That’s a start, right?

You know what they say about good intentions…. That faded cliche does still apply, especially when it comes to blogging.

I know this is going to come off whiny, but I am so drained by the end of the day. Even WoW is too much for me, on occasion. I feel so boneless when I get home, that I have a hard time making dinner—and sometimes, I don’t. (I refuse to call boiling up some hot dogs cooking.) I have a lot to talk about, believe me, I do. I just lack the energy. And time.

Here’s my schedule:

(Tues-Fri)
5:30 am–Get up. Or supposed to. When I want to play work chicken, I stay in bed til 5:40.
6:00 am–Out the door and head to the bus stop.
6:10 am–Bus shows up.
7:00 am–Bus dumps us off.
7:15 am–Arrive at Office.
4:00 pm–Done for the day!
4:05 pm–Begin workout
4:35 pm–Finish workout
4:50 pm–Show up at bus stop
5:00 pm–Hop on bus.
5:45 pm–Hop off bus.
6:00 pm–Start dinner.
6:30 (ish) pm–Eat.
9:30—Should head for sweet, sweet repose. Lately, I haven’t been hitting the sack until 11. Bad me.

Exciting life, no?

Maybe if I get more sleep, I’ll feel like posting more. Hmm.

Articles like this one by CNN make me grateful that I a) have no children–except my cats– and b) have a relatively “stable” job. Of course, I don’t take my job for granted. I’m still worried about it and what I would do if the worst should happen.

We spend $50 a week on food. That’s it unless we have more money, which is rarely the case. But even then, we don’t spend too much more. I’m paying off my bills a little quicker so that I can start saving. My entertainment bill? $15 a month—World of Warcraft is pretty much all I do to entertain my brain. And, if you play it regularly, it’s a better value than going out to the movies every week–especially since I play every day for an hour, at least. And cable too, I guess, but that’s the TV, internet, and phone.

No, I’m not giving up my WoW. I have too many friends on there.

However, I am most definitely scaling back on what I spend. Hell, I felt guilty about spending some of my tax refund on bedsheets and a set of headphones. (Ok, and a Disturbed CD too.) The items just seemed to me to be so extravagant.

Times are tough and they are going to get tougher before they get better.

I’m sorry that I haven’t been interesting in a while. I just got caught in a blah post phase. Like every subject and every idea I thought up wasn’t good or developed enough for posting material. Pick, pick, pick…that’s what I do. I pick on this and that. I criticize my weight, the lack of excitement, too much excitement. Ugh. I drive myself crazy, you could say that’s how I roll.

But other than still being sore, I think I like working out. Sure, I can only do 20 minutes in the gym at a time. (I do about 30 minutes of walking to and from the bus stop, too.) But at least I got off my plump butt and am currently in the process of doing something. I’m not whining about how I need to lose this baggage, without making any effort to do it.

I have been noticing, aside from my normal snarky observations, that I’ve been more positive. I have more energy and it’s great. I’m losing weight at a healthy clip, not too fast or too slow.

Working out just has one negative side effect. Not as much time to update the blog. I think I’ll shoot for every other day to post.

If the Israelis and the Muslims can’t share land, I think the UN should take it over and make it so no one can live there. It’s darn ridiculous that they can’t think beyond their own greedy, land grabbing, religious zealotry and just get along.

I am not a big fan of religion. I am, however, a fan of true faith. But I’m sure my readers know that by now.

That goes for both sides and yes, I’m sure Israel has played a big part in this escalation. They feel as if they are fighting for their lives, they probably are, as they are surrounded by people that hate them. What can they do? It’s not like they can buy a good sized island and turn it into their country. They do deserve their own sovereign nation.

The Palestians protest because it became their land. They–understandably so–don’t want to leave it. It’s not like they have anywhere to go either. And before people get their noses in a bunch, let me say that I don’t see America giving the country completely back to the Native Americans. Conquest used to be a part of our society. (Manifest Destiny, anyone? ) Trouble is, other societies haven’t the problem we have with it now.

They hate each other. They can’t see that they can share the holy ground in peace.

Wish someone would bonk their heads together.

This isn’t going to apply to Facebook, but I’ve linked my blog to Facebook so that it updates Facebook with my latest blog post. I am cleaning out all the old links that have not been active in months and are unlikely to return. They will always be welcomed back, of course, if they become active again. If any legitimate blogger wants me to link to them, let me know.

(It’s a good thing you returned today, Manuel. I was about to dump your link.)

In real life news…

Mom is sick, she sleeps 20 hours a day and doesn’t do anything. She doesn’t cook, clean….NOTHING. She knows what’s wrong but won’t tell anyone.

I have to say, and this may sound harsh, but that is an entirely selfish thing to do. I love my mother, but it is selfish. If she wants us all to BE family, she needs to let us know what’s going on. Even my Dad doesn’t know. I realize she doesn’t want us to worry, but how can we help if we don’t know?  It is really frustrating.

Her mom did the same thing when she was diagnosed with cancer; she shut everyone out and my mother was devastated. My mother found out she had cancer only after she died from it.

Thanks for continuing the cycle, Mother.

It’s not for everyone, but I find celibacy and I get along just fine. I choose celibacy (or have had it chosen for me) because I believe normal relationships are not for me. I am not a touch-o-phobe, I give tons of hugs–I like tactile contact, but I don’t see myself connecting physically in that way to another person. Casual, meaningless contact is just not for me.

I won’t lie. I have the normal thoughts women have. But the right person just hasn’t come along. Every person I have been infatuated with has rejected or politely brushed me off–or turned out to be gay. Sadly, I’m not lying or exaggerating. Really, it’s only people with borderline personality disorders (but I believe they faked their interest to make themselves feel valued.) and paranoid schizophrenics that show me the love.

So either God’s trying to give me a sign, or Mr. Right hasn’t come around yet. I will grant that I’m not really searching for aforementioned Mr. Right, but I content myself with the motto: What will be, will be. I know no matter how much I whine or lose weight or try to change myself, (I love my personality as is, if others don’t….well, they can leave it.) it all boils down to meeting the right people at the right time. Despite my celibacy, I am open to the idea of a romantic relationship but …my luck is rather horrible. I keep soldiering on, but keep getting shot down.

I think I’m aiming too high. I won’t settle for Joe Schmoe down the street. My ideal man has to move my heart and brain. He’s got to challenge me mentally. I prefer someone I can debate with. I want someone with the heart and courage of a lion but with the gentleness of a lamb. I want someone unafraid to dream, but who has a foot firmly planted in reality. I want someone who is not afraid to tell me that I’m being unreasonable, who isn’t afraid to tell me when I’m wrong. (Which isn’t often, btw. ) I want someone who I can “pounce” on, without worrying about being rejected. I want to share stories and tall tales and fears at night. I want someone able to “listen” past all my verbal stumblings and hear a person with wit and intelligence.

I want someone I can fight past my insecurities for. I want someone I can bare my soul to.

I’ll find him. One of these years.

Probably when I’m eighty.

And he’s forty.

And certainly not in one appointment….

“That’s interesting.”

“Oh my god, that looks painful.”

“You’ll feel a little pressure now.” Pressure? Just call it pain, lady. Let’s be honest!

“Come in next week for testing on that rash on your foot.”

“Hmm. That unknown rash on your toe could be dangerous.”

I went in to my clinic for an impromptu appointment, for an undisclosed reason not related to my toe. But while I was there, I pointed it out.  I was a little worried; the rash appeared rather odd. It’s hard to discribe, but at least it isn’t gooey.

It’s probably nothing. Probably. But whether it is ok or bad news, I’ll find a way to cope.  I’ll let you guys know. 

After reading the headlines in my state-wide newspaper, The Oregonian, I have decided that we are all making a trip to a hot place where we get pitchforks poked at us in uncomfortable spots. And we’re all going to arrive there in style; ala a basket. I just hope someone brings salsa and tortilla chips.

First, and this is disturbing on more than just the abortion level, Colorado has an amendment on their ballot that says a fertilizied egg should have the same rights as a person. The measure implies that the “murder” of an egg would be the same as killing a person.

Here it is:

Be it Enacted by the People of the State of Colorado: SECTION 1. Article II of the constitution of the state of Colorado is amended BY THE ADDITION OF A NEW SECTION to read: Section 31. Person defined. AS USED IN SECTIONS 3, 6, AND 25 OF ARTICLE II OF THE STATE CONSTITUTION, THE TERMS “PERSON” OR “PERSONS” SHALL INCLUDE ANY HUMAN BEING FROM THE MOMENT OF FERTILIZATION.

The supporters (Colorado for Equal Rights and Colorado Right to Life) of this amendment want to lay groundwork over protecting the unborn…and it would allow the changing of other laws for that purpose. The representative, this is what makes me nervous, of the grass roots anti-abortion group, Colorado for Equal Rights, would not say what other laws could be affected. That sets off a “Danger, Will Robinson” alarm in my head. Before I’d even consider it, if I were a Coloradan, I’d want to exactly what other laws are on their agenda.

Law experts have even said that this could lead to women being prosecuted for miscarriages, even unintentional ones, if it could be proved that she did something to bring it on. (!!!!) The American people do not need pre-natal homicide detectives investigating every failed pregnancy. The American people do not need the government getting in our bedrooms and pants. It’s bad enough they delve in our wallets whenever they want. (And if you think those kind of people are going to stop at Colorado, I’ve got oceanfront property in Arizona I want to sell.)

Really, think about it. That thought is getting scarier as I mull it over. There are so many problems that can happen to a fetus, so many developmental issues could happen, that I’d hate to see a mother getting “investigated” for her child’s particular challenge. Our political and justice system has a habit of screwing innocent people over, especially in new ethical territories like this new amendment proposes.

What’s next? [Start sarcasm] Being prosecuted for not getting an egg fertilized? I can see the posters of the pro-lifers now: EVERY PERIOD IS A CHILD KILLED! [End sarcasm]

Look, don’t get me wrong. I am not a fan of abortion. It’s a horrible, ugly procedure. I believe it should be used only in life threatening medical emergencies, not as a method of birth control.

And for another thing, I like how most of these measures revolve around women and controlling their eggs. Why don’t these measures involve men as well? It takes two to tango and make a baby–possibly at the same time. If women have to be responsible for making sure their ovum don’t go wild, then men have to man up and rein in their bad boys. So to speak.

Part 2—Bush Is An Idiot….will be continued tomorrow. I’m exhausted and need to make dinner.

While going to the doctor’s office.

• Dr. Feelgood –Motley Crue
• Dust in the Wind–Kansas
• Don’t Fear the Reaper—Blue Oyster Cult (?)
• The Halloween Theme—Not sure
• Who Wants to Live Forever?–Queen
• Bad Medicine—Bon Jovi

Woot! I don’t have edema. I DO have some circulation problems in the metatarsal region which will require careful attention. I dubbed it pseudo edema and the doctor liked that term. She could certain see HOW I might self diagnosis that as edema.

I like this new doctor. I hope she stays in our small town. She’s about my age and so friendly and willing to listen.

I feel like I’ve been given a new lease on life. I’m working hard to get my weight down and I’m strongly considering joining the gym at work for an extra 30 minutes of exercise. I’m eating better—mostly veggies and the only meat is ground turkey—and I’m feeling better too. My spirits are up.

I got to keep focusing on what is important rather than eat a bunch of junk food that is only temporal: My good health.