Monthly Archives: October 2007

Time is fleeting. 

 Forget winning a hundred million bucks, I just want to live a hundred years as young as I am now.  (But as a size 8.)

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Val’s Advice Column

Tagline: Take my advice or I’ll send ya to Valhalla!

Now, onto the advise that will help you smite foes deal with people.

Dear Val,

My boss is annoying. She keeps looking over my shoulder to see what I’m doing. I’m afraid that she’s going to catch me playing World of Warcraft one of these days.

Hopelessly Addicted to WoW.

Dear HAW,

Ahhhh…you have finally tapped into mankind’s most primal urge…the urge to fight. I say use this rediscovered urge to smite your boss upside her head. Once you have conquered the dragon boss, stand on your desk and roar in triumph.

Dear Vally,

I have a problem with asserting myself. I am so shy, I stutter when I am talking to people I’ve just met. Could you help please?

Wuss

Dear Wuss,

Come to my boot camp for lily livered ladies! That’s not a request, Wuss, that’s an order! I will turn your weak hemming and hawing wreck into a woman that knows what she wants and will reach out and grab it. Seize the bull called life by the horns!

What you need, Wuss, is intensive training on how to step up and not let people walk all over you. I guarantee you after three weeks of being under MY tutelage, you will be a force to be reckoned with.

Remember, you are woman so give the world a ball bustin’ roar!

(Any questions? Ask and I’ll answer them next Monday.)

Homicidal Purring Machines

Cats. I love my cats. But sometimes I wonder about those balls of fluff and claw.

Example, my cat Queenie. Normally, I don’t let cats in my room because I have breakable stuff. I changed my mind because we still have a mouse or two running around. Anyway, I was sleeping when she apparently caught one and jumped up on my bed with it.. She wanted to give me a gift. A gift of a dead mouse. When I noticed it, I just about jumped on a chair and squealed in terror. Yeah, on occasion I act like the girl I am.

Eww. At least I didn’t lay over or sit on it. Thank the heaven for little blessings, I guess.

As much speed as I could muster at 12 in the morning, I stripped everything off my bed. I am washing every single bed item I can.

Note to cats: If you want to give your human a gift, we prefer chocolate.

Commandments for Liberals

(It’s Right-Wing propaganda so keep reading.  All of these, I do not support.  The last one got me so damn mad, I devoted a post to it. Be warned. This is a long post. I swiped it from Generation X-Pose.)

I. THOU SHALT NOT PLACE THY GOD BEFORE ANYONE ELSES’ GOD

II. THOU SHALT NOT PUT JUDEO-CHRISTIAN IDOLS IN PUBLIC PLACES

III. THOU SHALT NOT PRACTICE HATE SPEECH

IV. REMEMBER GAY-LESBIAN AWARENESS DAY AND KEEP IT HOLY

V. HONOR ALL MOTHERS AND THEIR REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS OF CHOICE

VI. THOU SHALT NOT OWN FIREARMS OR ANY WEAPON OF DEFENSE

VII. THOU MAY FREE HAVE ADULTEROUS AFFAIRS, EVERYONE DOES IT

VIII. THOU SHALT NOT ROB THE STATE OF ITS PROPER TAXATIONS

IX. THOU MAY GIVE FALSE TESTIMONY IF IT IS ABOUT THY SEX LIFE

X. THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR’S RIGHT TO HEALTH CARE, WELFARE, FOOD STAMPS, OR ANY OTHER ENTITLEMENT OF THY NEIGHBOR. Read the rest of this entry

Good for her!

He looks as if he is faintly enjoying that…

Speak only if it improves upon the silence. –GandhiA very wise man, but this is one tidbit of good advise that I won’t take. Because I love to expound and pontificateand let forth my verbal gems. Each word that I utter is worth a fortune.  😉

Ok, so in other words, I am verbiose. Loud. Opinionated.

And that’s fine by me.

Here’s some of my opinions: We need to be more proactive on mental health for children, especially abused ones. To prevent shootings and/or further the viscious cycle.

George Bush is living in La-la land.

Blackwater USA, a private “security” firm, has no place in Iraq.
If someone doesn’t like my goofiness and my love of all things geeky….good riddance.

How Far You’ve come

You’d have a wonderful day
If you could see how lucky you are
Now don’t get carried away with your heart
You’re better where you are

You’re not the only one
Who’s failed to hang on to a moving star
Now don’t be sorry, what’s done now is done
And this is who you are

These days feel numbered and long
There’s no one to speak of
There’s no one at all
But you’re not the reason that everyone’s gone
That’s not how they are

There is no system to change
No conditions are made
No permissions to start
Now don’t go drawing lines in the sand
That’s not who you are

Sometimes a high wall is just a wall
Sometimes it’s only there to make sure you feel small
Or may be there to save you from the depths of a much deeper fall

The truth will not set you free
It’s okay to believe that you’re not good enough
God is not angry, not blind, deaf or dumb
He knows how far you’ve come

Just one of those days…

Yeah, I decided I wouldn’t make a good Catholic. The religion does have some good stuff in it that I can appreciate, but I don’t think it’s the “Truth” for me.

Why?

I like my Tarot cards too much to give them up. Now, I know they don’t possess any sort of mystical power. I do employ them to help me think about a certain situation or as a meditation tool to try to help me tap into what my subconcious knows but “stubbornly” won’t tell me. (I rarely remember my dreams unless they’re the scary kind.)

I’m not good at it. I won’t sell my Tarot card reading services–I don’t believe in doing that anyway. All those symbolic cards do is help me think and interpret the symbols I see around me.

(It’s ok if you think I’m nuts.)

A Tale of Two Families

I know of no completely different families than the ones I’m about to relate to you in this post. One is conventional….the other would be condemned by neo-cons everywhere. I guess I’ll do the conventional one first.

Family 1#

My sister and her now deceased husband. It hurts to say this, but what remains of their family is extremely destructive and dysfunctional. My nephew is ok, gets good grades and stays out of trouble. My eighteen year old niece runs wild, sleeps around a lot, and has trouble already with the human papillomavirus. She has stolen a car, done juvie countless times, and does drugs. She doesn’t care about anything it seems. I’ve tried to reach out to her but .. All she has done is lie and steal from me. The girl is extremely manipulative and I don’t particularly care for her.

I know. She’s my own flesh, but I can not stand her.

Her mother, my half-sister, is much the same way. Although she’s less self destructive and has found religion. (Rolls eyes) Maybe it’s true.

My dead brother-in-law always treated me nice, but the drugs he and my sister took, the cheating on her (she cheated on him too) led to his eventual diagnosis of being positive for HIV. She’s HIV positive too.

All I can do is send them my thoughts, though I wish those two women weren’t related to me.

Family 2#

I have a gay co-worker that has just now managed to adopt his partner’s fifteen year old granddaughter. Together, they make a good family–I‘ve seen them. They go to church. They are strict with her. They make sure she gets the best education possible. And guess what? They hate drugs and orgies.

She loves them back. She’s *gasp* not gay or promiscuous. She’s well behaved and respectful. I noticed a WWJD bracelet, so I assumed that she has faith, and seems very well adjusted to life.

She is much healthier in all the ways that count than my hellion niece.

So what makes a family functional? It certainly isn’t one man and one woman, as evidenced by my examples. It isn’t the “gays” that are ruining the institution of marriage; it is the “straights”. It takes more than a license to bind people as a family; it takes love and dedication.

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