Replay Buffet: Girl vs. Boy World
(Originally published a few years ago, but good enough for my new readers to enjoy.)
Girl: Oh my gosh. We had such a good date! I clicked with him instantly. He said he’d call. (Squeal of glee.)
Guy: She seems like a cool chick. I’ll probably call her in a few days.
Girl: I wonder why he hasn’t called yet. It’s been 3 hours. Does he have a girlfriend? Did he lie to me just to get to first base?
Guy: Time to have some brewskies with my bros!
Girl: It’s been 24 hours. He doesn’t like me! Did I just imagine our chemistry? Did he meet someone better?
Guy: (Groans) I had way too many beers…..
Girl: Maybe I should call Sheryl…she knows everything about men.
Guy: Hmm. I think I’ll call that girl tomorrow. Maybe we can go hang out at a bar or see a movie.
Girl: (Sniffs) There must be something wrong with me! It’s been three days and no phone call.
Guy: Hey, wanna go see a movie? Or get a beer at the Pirates’ Cove?
Girl: Sure! (Secretly harboring resentment at him not calling earlier.)
That conversation is a generalization, I know, but I did it to illustrate the social differences between gals and fellas. I’ll start with the ladies.
First of all, *most* women like to know where they stand with potential mates, we need to know whether or not he is going to be worth the investment in time. Women, at least the ones I know and that includes me, tend to be VERY territorial, especially around their male friends, even if they are in a relationship.That’s a very primal part of us. It also drives us to looking good, always perfecting what we have in order to attract a mate.
The beginning of a possibly romantic friendship is always fraught with danger; a lady can easily scare away a good partner. Neediness isn’t attractive to a man and most men see that behavior as “needy”. Yet, I think most women aren’t needy. As I’ve said before, women just like to know where they stand. We internalize too much; In short, we over analyze every little detail to death. We see actions, or lack thereof, as rejection far too often.
I’m guilty of that and of being needy as well. I’ve scared off many a person with being intense—I’ve always wanted to be loved so badly and I know I’m not the only woman like that. I’ve always believed men are by far the gentler sex. I prefer their, “take things as they come” outlook on life.
It would be a nice way to live…if I could calm the thoughts that pop up to disturb that mental tranquility. I’ve noticed a lot of guys saying, “I’ll call you.” and never call back. That is exceptionally frustrating to women. I realize that guys don’t really want to hurt women, but being tactfully honest is a better way to go. If a woman isn’t a guy’s particular cup of tea, do NOT say, I’ll call you. Just say, “Let’s be friends and see where it goes.”
“I’ll call you”, generates interest and hope that this first date could turn into something special. I believe society places too much emphasis is put on finding that “someone”. Sure, relationships are good. If they happen organically. So…ladies, take life and love easy. Don’t worry if he neglects calling you. It wasn’t meant to be. Guys, man up and gently guide her thinking into that of becoming friends, if you find you are unattracted to her. Don’t promise to call then disappear.
As for me, I’m happily dating. Perhaps even engaged, but I am certainly off the market. Thank goodness.