Category Archives: Diabetes

Update: I LIVE

I’m doing fine, more or less. Adrift in a sea of discontent with only my myriad number of thoughts as company, but it’s probably just a phase I’m going through. I know that I’ll be ok, one day at a time. That’s one of the many key elements to finding happiness; just accepting one moment as it comes. Happiness is something you have to work at. Funny how no one tells you that. Maybe it’s one of the great truths that you have to discover for yourself.

The kind of writing that I’ve been doing seems to require a different frame of mind. Being able to see another character, how they live and breathe, motivations, tends to shove my own narcissism to the back of my mind. It’s difficult, for me, to switch gears.

So…a brief run down on what’s going on in my life:

I’m having difficulty NOT over eating. It’s really tempting to munch away at whatever’s at hand.

Working at home is a dream come true. I love it. I don’t miss my co-workers much.

Diabetes? Meh. My control of it could be better. Could be a lot worse.

Yeah, that’s how I’m doing. I’ll see if I can write more later on…I gotta get to bed.

Update on Diabetes

My journey living with diabetes has been filled with ups and downs. Last week, my blood sugars were 420, now they’re about 150-160. Not good, but better than they were. Now that I have my medication again, they’ll get back to normal levels. In time.

I gotta tell you the truth. I just stopped caring about myself. I stopped caring about my diabetes. I even stopped caring about my writing. I stopped caring about everything.

Bad mistake. Almost fatally bad.

I don’t know why I neglected myself. Maybe it’s because I see diabetes as a hopeless battle that is going to eventually kill me. Complications of diabetes have already killed my grandparents and quite possibly my dad will die of it too. I’ll probably die of it.   The odds are good that diabetes will catch up to me and I’ll die in horrific pain.

Did I ever mention I have an imagination? It is both a curse and a blessing.  I really do imagine myself dying in excruitating agony.

I need to take it easy on myself.

A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That

I likeSims 3. It is addicting! In fact, that’s pretty much how I spent my weekend. Playing that darn game. Running the lives of characters on my laptop, making them happy. Fun times. I guess I like to manage and be bossy to people.

(Oh, I still like WoW, but I need a break from it. After awhile, Warcraft just gets to be the same old same old. I have, after all, been playing that game for over three years.)

As for the Sims, don’t buy it. You’ll never stop playing it.

But in all seriousness, I also went to go see Alice in Wonderland. I had to get out of the house, else cabin fever come upon me. I liked it, for the acting and the interesting visuals. Very trippy. The writing was a little stiff, but it was a lovely movie to look at–especially with Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter. But not every film can be a Citizan Kane, right

Ananda? I’ve been thinking about your question regarding the best thing a friend has done for me. I don’t know what that is. I’ve been kicked around by a lot of different people. I don’t know why I have had such bad luck with so called friends. Maybe it’s because I sought out the wrong type of folks, desperate to find any sort of affection/attention. The fault may lay within me. It seems that I’ve always been searching for acceptance and love. I have difficulty discerning intent in others, always seeing the best in everyone.

But my life hasn’t been completely terrible. I do have a few good friends, even though I don’t trust readily. (That has to be earned.) The best thing a friend has done for me was to listen to my fears after I was diagnosed with diabetes.

Merry X-mas!

I’m discovering as I get older, that getting presents isn’t a big deal. I’d much rather go out and buy what I need or want, rather than hope other people will get it for me. Also, I would prefer people to spend money on themselves, on what they need. However, I do like spending money on other people. I’m not a Scrooge by any means.

However, as a diabetic, I’m questioning the gift choices my parents gave me. A box of sugar-free chocolate and a HUGE tray of sugar laden cookies. What the —-? Those I will have to parcel out for…oh, I don’t know…the next year. They’re very good but very BAD for me. So I packaged them up in two’s and three’s, and shoved the baggies of sugar bombs into my freezer.

If it’s the thought that counts, what does the thought say about the tray of goodies that could hurt me if I ate too many of them? Hmmm. My folks care about me, I know that, but still. Not wise, and almost MEAN to give me all that sugar.  Kind of makes me think.

Enjoy the video!

Some Tidbits Before I Go…

My blood sugar tests out between 130-140.  Better, but not where it should be.  It’ll take a couple more months.

Glad people seemed to enjoy my Unsucky Vampire Post, even if there was some disagreement.

I will respond to e-mail. I will do a better job of it!

I will respond to comments and also comment MORE on my friends’ blogs.  I’m pretty opinionated in real life, but shy in my online life. Go fig.

Oh, this just in from a latest scientific research project :  Women are most likely to recoil in horror from ugly babies, even their own.  Guess the old axiom about having a face only a mother could love is wrong.

(I’ll talk about Michael Jackson, but not right now. I am still bummed.  A major part of my childhood has gone.  I loved his music, and pitied him, rather than hate him.)

Finally, in dumb ass criminal news…

Clackamas, OR—

A  man, who shall remain nameless—well, ok, I’ll call him Doofus McGee— called 911 for having been shorted money by a McDonald’s. Said he was robbed.  The dispatcher told him that he could be arrested for dialing in an non emergency call and hung up.  The idiot called twice more before they sent an officer to pick the moron up.  Apparently, the dispatchers had realized that A) the caller was mentally deficient or B) they didn’t want to waste an officer’s time.  I’m going with the latter explanation.

Well, I’m off!  To South Carolina!  Expect photos when I get back.

Update: I live!

Ugh.  I hate it when real life gets in the way of my blogging.  Good news!  My blood sugar levels have been consistently going down.  Today? It was 134.  Still too high, but it’s getting to where It needs to be.  Unfortunately, diarrhea has been a side effect, but it’s been going away. Too much information, I know, but I like to keep it real.  Good and bad.  It only happens when I up my dosage (according to doc’s directions, of course) or take it too close to my meal.  I usually like to wait ten minutes. Then I take my metformin.

One thing I do miss is having a glass of wine.  Alcohol is a definite no-no with the meds I’m on.

Last week, though, when I started feeling shaky, I took my blood sugar and it was 166.  I believe that my body has been at such a high blood sugar level for so long, it wasn’t used to it being so low.  That’s just my thought and I’m not a doctor, just a lowly medical assistant who works for a major health insurance company. (Can’t say, clowns will eat me.)

Simpsons Sunday will be posted later today. I just wanted to give my friends an update on how I was dealing with my diabetes. (Still seems weird to type that.)